After roughly three weekends of training with me, one of my students has just pulled his first one night stand. But that’s not what I want to point out. I want to point out the other student; the one that is always depressed, always making excuses, and never listens to me.

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I started intensely training both of these guys at the same time, yet while one guy has excelled, the other still can’t even consistently number close. But why is it that the first guy started pulling phone numbers almost right away, started separating girls once I taught him how to do so, and pulled his first one night stand after I taught him how to leave with her?

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I’ll tell you why: this guy had a great attitude, listened to everything I told him, trusted that I knew what I was talking about, and never gave me any kind of shit about my methods. The other guy just resisted me the entire time, and now he is seeing the results of it. While his buddy is getting laid tonight, he is at home frustrated.

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You guys will get exactly what you put into the game. If you come in, thinking all negatively, trying to find the worse in every situation, then what do you expect to get in return? You’re going to get horrible results. While the first guy tried to learn something from every interaction and asked me a million questions, the other guy only focused on the rejection itself and then made excuses not to press himself forward.

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I’ll tell you guys something right now: I have shitty nights, I’ve been rejected more times than I can count, I’ve been made fun of, I’ve fallen flat on my face, but why do I eventually succeed at anything that I keep at? Because I don’t pay attention to the negatives. I learn from every interaction. And most importantly, I don’t make excuses. Last night, I had a great night, and tonight I had a pretty horrible night compared to my usual standards.

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Yes, I could say that I was a little tired, so I wasn‘t my usual charismatic self. Yes, I could say that I was downtown and out of my usual suburban territory. And yes, I could say that since I didn’t drink tonight, I wasn’t my usual assholish self. But I didn’t. I took the situation, and asked myself “How can I readapt for these downtown bars without my entourage?”, “How can I game without alcohol being an influence?”, and “How can I game when I’m not as charismatic as I am on my good nights?”.

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In other words, I take these new problems, don’t make excuses, and look for ways to solve them. The only way you’re ever going to be really good at anything is if you learn how to handle new problems as they arise, and don’t blame the problems themselves, but instead, focus on finding the answers.

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